When I look at my girls, my heart melts. They are everything to me. I love them both more than anything else in this world. I have big dreams for my girls, not only as growing human beings, but as SISTERS. I dream that they will be close to each other and sit up late at night and share secrets in the dark. I dream that they will love each other more than they love anyone else, except their mama of course :) I dream that they will support each other in everything that the other one does and be each other's number one cheerleader. I dream that Jayden will fully understand one day that Sophia may need her more than other siblings need their brother or sister and that she will whole heartedly step up to the plate and be there for Sophia, in whatever way she needs her big sister.
My girls are still young, 2 and 5. The future, for either one of them, is very unclear right now. I look at their relationship now and somedays I think, "these girls are going to be great together! They are going to love one another and protect one another and stand up for each other, like nobody's business." But then, on a more frequent day I think, "oh my gosh, Jayden is going to bully Sophia more than the average Joe off the street. She isn't going to want her to be around her, she is going to get annoyed with her presence and just leave her in the dust to fend for herself!" Those days scare me. But again, my girls are only 2 and 5. Of course they get on each other's nerves. They pester one another like siblings are supposed to. They don't have to be there for one another right now, because that's what they have parents for, right?
Every once in a while, when Jayden doesn't know that I'm watching, I will catch her loving on Sophia. I will find her playing with her and sharing her most favorite toys with her little sister. I will listen to her explaining things to Sophia and teaching her how something works. I will see her pick up a toy for Sophia that she dropped or see her keeping a watchful eye on her little sis when we are around a group of kids, especially ones we don't know. I've heard her stand up to other children before when they have taken a toy away from Sophia, or when they get mad at Sophia for taking a toy away from them, Jayden always steps in as the voice of reason. Usually repeating something similiar to what I have to tell her over and over again when she too gets frustrated at her little sister for swiping her toys away from her. These are the moments when, my cup runneth over.
The point is, I worry about my girls and their future relationship. But most of us don't step up to the plate, unless we have to, especially at such a young age. And Jayden is being a kid right now, exactly like she should be. And Sophia is being a little sister right now, exactly like she should be. And Randy and I are being the parents right now, exactly like we should be. I think Jayden knows that as their parents we will take care of her and Sophia and protect them and love them and support them and right now that role isn't a top priority for her. Of course my girls love each other and I see it, daily. But I'm always looking at the bigger picture and sometimes I miss what is happening right in front of me.