Wednesday, September 4, 2013

I Call Bullshit

"God only gives special children to special families."

I've seen this story on Facebook a lot recently and I just don't buy it.  Not the story, the saying.  I thought the story was great.  It's nice to know that when someone sees you struggling in the moment or having a bad day, that they would reach out and do something nice for you, to hopefully brighten your day or make things a little easier in that moment.  We need more people like this in the world. 
I know that when someone says, "God only gives special children to special families," it's meant as a compliment.  It's meant to say that you are doing an amazing job with the cards that you were dealt and I admire all that you do for your child.  But honestly, I don't feel any more special than anybody else and I really don't want people looking at me and putting me up on this pedestal like I'm this great person because I have a daughter with special needs.  I'm just a mom, like millions of other moms around the world who love their children tirelessly and would move every mountain in order for them to have fulfilling lives.  I've done the things that I've done for Sophia, not because I wanted to do them, but because I had to do them.  I didn't want to put Sophia through multiple surgeries before she was even a year old, but I had no choice.  I didn't want Sophia to have to use a feeding tube and be hooked up to oxygen, but I had no choice.  I didn't want Sophia to be delayed in her gross motor, fine motor, cognitive and speech skills, but I don't have a choice in that either.  As a family, we were given a child who has different abilities than your typical developing child, and instead of turning our backs on her and walking away, we did what any good parent would do.....we stepped up to the plate and loved our child, unconditionally.  As a parent, would you not do the same thing for your child? 
Before I had Sophia, I remember thinking that I could NEVER handle a child with special needs.  I wouldn't have the patience or the strength to do what I saw other families doing with their child with special needs.  I always said to myself, "I could never do that."  It's so funny to think back on those days.  I've realized over the past few years, that I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for.  I can be strong and patient.  I can be an advocate and a fighter.  But most importantly, I can love my child, unconditionally, no matter what her abilities are.  And I can do these things, not because I'm special, but because I'm a mom who cares. 
Yes, Sophia has special needs, but I don't see her as being any more special than my other daughter who doesn't have special needs.  I feel blessed to have be given the opportunity to be a mother to my girls.  I know of too many wonderful women who can't have children, and if you ever watch TV at all, you also know that there are a lot of very unfit women out there being blessed every day with  children that they don't want or refuse to take care of.  I do believe that every thing in our lives happens for a reason.  Sometimes it's hard to understand why certain things happen, but I believe that full circle there is always a positive, even for the hardest to imagine negative.  
If I believed that God thought I was a "special one" and in return gave me my amazing daughter Sophia, then what about all of the other moms out there who don't have a child with special needs, but still fight the fight each and ever day in order to give their kids everything that they need in life to succeed?  Are they not just as special as I am?