Sunday, April 29, 2012

Nora Rose

“I’m sorry, but your baby is not compatible with life.” A phrase no mother or father should ever EVER have to hear. These words echoed in the minds of Aleisa and William for 99 days after they were given that devastating news during a ultrasound. Through prayer, reflection and endless amounts of support, Aleisa made the promise to her baby girl, “I will carry you.”

Check out THIS amazing slideshow that was put together for a family who welcomed a sweet little girl into this world days ago.  EVERY life truly is precious......

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Oh yeah, she does have Down syndrome

When I look at Sophia, I see the most beautiful blond haired, blue eyed little girl I have ever seen in my life.  She runs, she laughs, she plays, she destructs, she annoys her big sister, and she LOVES like nobodys business.  She is just, Sophia. 

Typically when I go out to run errands or take my kids places, 99% of the time I'm a hot mess.  I look like crap, my brain is a scattered mess, I'm juggling a diaper bag, snacks, toys that Jayden refuses to hold but insisted to bring and I just don't focus on anyone or anything around me.  My mind is set on what I'm there to do and then get the hell out of there and back home to our comfort zone of craziness.  So the stares or the looks or the judgment from other people, I just don't see it, I don't have time to pay attention to someone who is staring at me and my crazy kids.  But then there are moments when people have approached me, when we've been out to eat, or at the park and they notice Sophia.  They tell me how beautiful she is and ask how old she is and then they proceed to tell me about a special someone in their lives who either has special needs or has Down syndrome.  At first I'm always like, "wow, that's great!  Sophia is so specail to us and has opened up our lives and our hearts to so much more in life, and you must feel the same way about your loved one."  I really appreciate people taking the time to approach us and make a connection, even if it's only for a brief moment.  But then after the encounter, my immediate thought is, "how did they know?"  I'm sure it seems so silly to think that someone wouldn't look at Sophia and instantly see that she has Down syndrome, but for me, I hardly ever "see" it. 

These past 3 years seems like it's been so easy to forget that my little girl has Down syndrome.  Of course I'm not ashamed of it, I'm proud of that extra little chromosome and I have no problems telling people that she sports it.  I guess in the beginning we struggled with so much medically, that there just wasn't enough time to "worry" about a little extra chromosome.  And I didn't.  And honestly, I still don't.  I don't spend hours on the internet researching, which maybe I should?!?!  I don't talk about Down syndrome on a daily basis, or even a weekly basis and maybe not even on a monthly basis, but if I did, it would be perfectly ok.  I've just always put all my focus and energy on getting her strong and healthy.  But now we are fastly approaching the school age years.  Of course it's only preschool, but there will be teacher and peers and IEP's and people telling me that my daughter just isn't where she needs to be.  There will be people and situations always coming up that remind me that Sophia has Down syndrome, and that developmentally she is behind, and I think I'll be ok with that, I think.......

When I look at Sophia, I see a little girl who has fought, and fought hard to get to where she is today.  I see a little girl who is strong and stubborn and who is who she is, and there isn't anyone who is going to mold her into something different.  She is full of life, love and laughter.  To me, she is amazing.  I know it may take a little time and some difficult paths, but I feel like this Down syndrome thing may need to move up on my list of things to focus on.  I need to be prepared for the years to come.  I need to be able to fight for what is right for my daughter and get her the services and the support outside of the home that she deserves.  I need to be prepared to be her voice, her advocate.  Of course Down syndrome is a part of our lives, it always has been and it always will be, but for me, it's just not a big part of our lives.....and maybe it never will be?

Does this hat make my head look big?

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Keep your hands OFF my Doritos!

I tried to help Sophia out by her holding her chips for her, but she clearly DID NOT want my hands anywhere near her precious Doritos!

Monday, April 23, 2012

Put me in coach, I'm ready to play!

We are back at it for our second year of t-ball.  Last Tuesday was our first game, and with 10 kids on the team this year, it should be twice as fun as last year!  We traded our blue IBEW jerseys for red Wendy's jerseys this time around.  So let the fun begin!!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Update, Update, Read all about us!

`My head hurts, every part of my body is sore and I feel like I could use a Mt. Dew IV to get me through the rest of today.  But, the sun is out and it's bright and cheery and warm to the skin, and that makes everything seem a little better. 

We are closing in on Randy's 7 weeks of working almost every day, 10-12 hours each day.  Although the money has been very nice and helpful, it really sucks not having him home every night for supper and in the evenings and on the weekends.  My life revolves around my family and all of us doing things together, so when someone is missing it really takes a toll on everyone.  I know Randy has been just as exhausted as me, but even the girls have gotten themselves down in the dumps on several occasions, because they just miss their daddy.  But starting this weekend, things should return to normal, and I think we're all happy about that!!  Of course that padded paycheck will be missed, but having our family back together on a regular basis is far more important. 

Jayden is a busy little 5 year old these days too.  She just recently finished up her first year of soccer and she did awesome and loved it!  She's into t-ball right now and just had her first game this past Tuesday and her second game is tonight.  She is definitely my little sports girl.  Last week was kindergarten registration and things are falling right into place for my little girl to start elementary school in the fall!!!  I can't believe it's been almost 6 years since she was born :(  She is still loving preschool and enjoys going each and every day.  She is learning so much and according to her teacher, she is a pure joy to have in her class.  That makes me smile, but it also makes me wonder why I can't get some of that joy at home :)  Yesterday we got Jayden's preschool pictures back to look at, and they had a packet of her in a cap and gown, it melted my heart to see.  Jayden is my mini me, in every single way.  I look at her and I see myself.  On one hand that obviously makes me so happy, but then again it scares the sh*t out of me too!!  I'm in for so much trouble and at 5 years old, it has only just begun. 

Sophia is doing awesome as well and taking her toddler responsibilities very seriously.  She is on the go from sun up to sun down, or until I have to strap her down in her highchair or stroller from her causing me pure exhaustion.  She is getting a little taller each and every day, which means that each day there is a new height of stuff that she can reach and tear down, pull down, or dump over.  She has a way of driving me almost off the cliff and then at the last moment she flashes that little "I'm so freakin cute, how can you not just wanna love me to pieces" smile and immediately it's all good again, at least for the next 2-3 minutes :)  We are also in the process of getting Sophia signed up for preschool in the fall!  We've been through one evaluation and we are getting ready to go next week and meet her teacher that will be so blessed to have her!  All I can say is, that woman is going to have her hands full with my little firecracker :)  As much as I can't believe Jayden is about to turn 6 and will be starting kindergarten, I am still a little in denial that Sophia is turning 3 in about 6 weeks and will be going to preschool!!!!  It just can't be.  I see her changing and growing every day, and the progress that she has made, on so many different levels, just amazes me.  Anything is possible in life, and my little Sophia has made me a true believer of that! 

As for me, well I've been doing the only thing I feel like I really know how to do and that's taking care of my family.  It's hard and it's stressful and some days it's the last thing I want to do, but I honestly love it and I wouldn't change it if I could.  Randy and I have started a workout program this week, which is why I'm extremely sore today, and I'm not sure how long it's going to last :) but for the moment I'm going to give it my best shot and we'll see what happens.  Mother's Day is coming up in a few weeks, and usually I don't think about myself and what I'm going to do, but this year, I'm planning a big day for myself!  I have gift cards for a mani/pedi and a stress relief massage (and boy do I need that!), and my hair is a horrible mess and could use some tending to and I'm going to take care of business.  As hard as my husband has been working, it's just time he get some quality time with his girls and this mama is going to get some quality time of her own!    I hope everyone is having a happy Thursday and I'll be back with some t-ball pictures from Jayden's first week of games! 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Wild, Wild West

Today was western day at school.  Not only does Jayden have the look, but her own little attitude to go with it :)  All this little girl needs now is a horse or a tractor!

Little sister wanted to be a cowgirl too.