Tuesday, February 18, 2014

3 months

I can't believe it's been 3 months since I lasted posted something here!  Okay, yes I can believe it.  I always pump myself up to blog for 31 consecutive days in October and then November 1st comes and I'm done with blogging.  It's just hard to find the time to write and sometimes it's hard to piece words together that will make any sense. 

We started off the year welcoming our third daughter into our family.  It felt like forever waiting for her to get here, and even though she has only been here for 6 1/2 weeks, it feels like she's been a part of our family for so much longer.  She's beautiful.  She is such a laid back baby, who just kind of rolls with the punches (sometimes literally thanks to a big sister who shall go unnamed.) 

I questioned myself wanting another baby for a long time.  Even though I have always wanted at least three babies, I just didn't know if it was something that was going to work for our family; for me.  For three years after Sophia was born we fought one battle after another.  In the beginning it was a lot of major medical stuff.  An extended stay in the hospital, half of which was spent in the NICU.  Then a surgery at 2 days old, another at 4 months, and open heart surgery at 6 months.  All the while we were juggling with oxygen tanks and feeding tubes and apnea monitors and doctor visits once, twice, three times a week.  Then throwing in just as many therapy visits each week as well.  Needless to say, I had my hands full.  I had begun to prepare myself that this baby #3 that I've always wanted, might not be something that I could handle on top of an already full plate.  But then Sophia turned 3 and she started to eat!  It was one of the best milestones she had accomplished.  It was such a weight off of my shoulders.  It kind of felt like we had won the final battle that we had been fighting since the day she was born.  It felt amazing!  It was after that I decided I didn't want to give up on my dream of having another baby, and so that is just what we did.  And I am so glad I didn't give up on that dream, because our new baby girl, she completes this family perfectly.

I am so blessed to say that I have three amazingly, wonderful, perfect little girls that I love and adore.  And most importantly, they are all happy, usually, and healthy!  Having a healthy baby was my biggest fear this time around.  I was terrified that I wouldn't get to bring my baby home right away.  I would worry myself sick a lot of days thinking about all of the what if's.  I didn't want to go down that road again.  I mean, I would go down that road again if I had to, but I really didn't want to.  And it scared me, through my whole pregnancy.  I wasn't worried about having another child with Down syndrome or anything like that, I was just worried about having a sick baby.  I am blessed that all of Sophia's health issues were treatable.  But my eyes have been opened to so much more now and worrying, well that's just what I do. 

Transitioning from two kids to three, had me a little nervous, but I have to say it hasn't really been all that bad, yet.  My biggest struggle right now is just trying to keep overly loving hands off of the baby.  Someone is always wanting to play, hold, pinch or scratch the baby, at all times.  Poor thing can never have a moment of peace.  And because I don't fully trust all of the little hands that are trying to love on the baby, I don't get a moment of peace either.  But most of all, both of the girls have accepted having another sister wonderfully.  They both love her to pieces and can be quite helpful when they want to be.  I have to say, baby girl is a perfect fit.