Thursday, April 21, 2011

Growing Up

Baby Jayden

Jayden 2 yrs
I can still remember the night before Jayden was born, sleeping in our living room in the recliner having super annoying contractions all night long and going to the hospital in the early morning hours the next day.  I can remember waiting in the delivery room for the "show" to start.  Because my epidural had kicked in, I could have chilled out there forever if I needed to.  And then, 8 hours later, my first baby girl was born, making me a mommy......And now, almost 5 years later I am thinking about how those years have just flown by, almost like they never existed.

Jayden 3 yrs

Jayden 4 yrs
Jayden was my first baby, the little girl that I always knew I wanted.  SHE made me a mommy, and gave me my dream that I had dreamt of forever.  She is my mini me.  Beginning with the crazy, wild hair, all the way to the fly off the handle attitude.  We spent the first 3 years of her life as side kicks, partners in crime.  We did everything together, just the two of us.  She truly is my best friend.  I have had an amazing time growing and learning about motherhood with her.  She has always blown me away by how smart and independent she is for such a little girl.  Of course there are days where she thinks she is back to being a baby again, but there are days where I swear she's an adult trapped in an itty bitty body.  I can't believe how in just 1 year I will be sending her off to kindergarten!  All day!  All by herself!  Where someone else will be watching over her for the bigger part of her day!  And then it's all down hill speed  from there!  I love that my baby girl is growing up, I really do, but there is still that part of me that wants to keep her little.  I want to be her everything, forever.

Jayden 4 yrs 8months :)

Baby Sophia
Then there is Sophia.  She is about to turn 2 in a little over one month!  I can't believe it!  I feel like it was just yesterday that we were celebrating her first birthday, and I couldn't even believe one year had passed at that time.  Sophia didn't make me a mommy, but she definitely made me a better mommy.  I can still remember everything about Sophia from the time she was born till now, and it blows my mind away to realize how much she has grown.  She has accomplished so much and has overcome more obstacles then most 2 year old toddlers, to become the strong, growingly independent little person that melts my heart every time I look into those blue eyes.

Sophia 1 yr
There have been moments where I worried about Sophia and the fact that she would most likely meet her developmental milestones later, possibly much later, than Jayden for instance.  I worried about her not doing things on time as her peers, or still lugging her around on my hip at 2 years old, but the truth is, I am LOVING every minute that I still get to hold my little baby girl and love on her and teach her and watch her grow, at a slower pace.  Sophia is definitely growing up and getting bigger and doing LOTS of new things, but it isn't flying by like I felt it did with Jayden.  And who knows, one of these days Sophia may just take off like a rocket and flash right by me, but for the moment I am enjoying every minute that I get to keep her as my "baby."

Sophia 1 yr. 10 months :)
Before I was a mom, I couldn't wait to have babies.  Then I had a baby and I couldn't wait for her to walk and talk and be a toddler.  Then I couldn't wait for her to become even more independent and start doing things more for herself, like using the potty and getting dressed.  Then you think about school and sports and what they'll be like as they get older and how much freedom you'll have again once they fly the nest, but then I catch myself thinking about how nice all of these things will be, especially on stressful days, but the truth is I just want to keep them under my wing forever, because without them I feel lost.  I hope my girls will not necessarily need me forever, but I definitely hope that they will want me forever!
Sophia, Jayden and Mommy (a few weeks after Sophia was born)


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