October 23, 2004....

.....I married my best friend.  It's hard to believe that it's only been 8 years since Randy and I got married, but maybe that's because we've actually been together for 13 long, but wonderful years.  It's a lot of work keeping a relationship strong and at least some what healthy, especially after you have kids.  All of your time and energy go into your children and what is happening in their lives, that it's so easy to push yourself, and your significant other to the back burner.  And in our world of crazy, like so many others too I'm sure, this happens A LOT! 

I saw this in a store this past weekend and thought it was very fitting for an anniversary post:

Marriage (noun)

The act of joining one life to another.  Body and soul.

 

Being Married (verb)

Saying  "will you forgive me?" more than "I forgive you."  Choosing to be reconciled over being right.  Halving burdens and doubling joys.  Knowing you are better together than apart.  Sharing laughter and tears - understanding some days love is a choice.  Investing in the friendship.  Saying "I love you" with actions.  Believing in "for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health."  Committing to "till death do us part."   

 

Randy and I don't see eye to eye on everything.  We disagree and get annoyed with one another quite regularly.  We are stressed and tired and overwhelmed with life a lot of days, but it always comes down to the fact that no matter how hard and demanding life is, we have each other.  Supporting one another no matter what and loving each other unconditionally.  Randy is my best friend.  He can always make me laugh and he has a way of making me feel like everything really is going to be okay, when I just can't imagine a light at the end of the tunnel.  I know that my life is complete because he's in it.  I feel blessed to have such an amazing man by my side and a terrific father for our two girls. 

 

Randy, I love you more today than I did 8 years ago.  You have proven to me over and over again that I'm exactly where I was meant to be.  You have loved me and supported me through a lot of rocky times.  You have seen my faults as a human being and you have continued to love me despite them.  I love you, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.  Happy Annivserary!   

 

 

**Divorce rates in the United States are; around 40%-50% of first marriages end in divorce.  When you have a child with special needs, that percentage jumps up to around 80% of marriages end in divorce.  Caring for any child with special needs can sometimes mean more work and stress on a marriage.  I've read before that it takes a village to raise children and I believe that.  No matter how many times I almost kill myself trying to carry the load on my own two shoulders, I always realize that I just can't do it alone.  Randy and I together can't do it alone.  Luckily we have a great group of family and friends that we can count on to help us when the load gets to be a little too heavy.  And as much as I hate asking for help, for the good of my family and my sanity, you have to be willing to take the help when it is available to you.**   



Preschool Dayz

Sophia turned 3 this past June, which means that she was no longer able to receive at home therapy from First Steps, but was now old enough to begin preschool in the fall with her peers.  The months and days leading up to starting preschool were hard.  I didn't know what to expect and could only focus on the worst scenerios.  I was terrified to put Sophia into the hands of complete strangers and hope that they would take care of her the same way that I would.  It was a little different sending Sophia to preschool than it was Jayden, just because, A) she was still SO TINY and still had a lot of "baby" in her, but the hardest thing is, B) the fact that she in non-verbal.  I worry that something could happen and I may never know about it, because she can't tell me.  It's one of the hardest things, having to put so much trust in people that your barely know, with the most precious things that you have in life, your children. 

Despite my worries, the first day of school came and went and Sophia absolutely LOVES school!  I think that Sophia's teacher is great, along with her aides, and they are always trying out new things to help Sophia stay focused and on task.  She is expected to follow the routine and perform skills in the classrooms just like her peers.  Of course some days sound like they go better than others, but overall I think that she is doing great adjusting to school and I look forward to seeing her progress when I go back in to update her IEP.  We also transitioned from at home therapy to a clinic this fall, and Sophia has done a great job with that too!  We go to our local pediatric therapy clinic where Sophia receives additional occupational therapy and speech therapy, besides what she gets at school.  She is always ready and willing to go and "play" with her therapists and they both are great with her!

As if sending her to school wasn't hard, today I put her on the school bus, for the first time! 
I cried :( and Jayden was here to comfort me and tell me that everything would be ok and Sophia would be fine :)  I love that big girl of mine!  The bus pulled up in front of our house and I put Sophia on the bus, buckled her in, said goodbye, walked off and waved to her as her little head peaked out the window where she was sitting.  She never cried, but I'm sure she was thinking, "what the hell is going on here?!?! What is this thing and who are these people and why are you leaving me Mommy?"  I hope she wasn't scared.  I hope that she loves riding the bus as much as she loves going to school.  I hope she stays safe on that big, yellow bus. 

 



       **not the best pictures, but it was dark outside and I had to hurry and snap a picture on the bus :)

A Weekend Away

Randy and I have been away all weekend, kid free!  A few months ago we decided that we would try and do something for our anniversary this year and decided to go to Nashville, TN.  It was so nice to have a full 2 days of practically no responsibilities.  We made it down to Nashville with only one pit stop, which took under 5 minutes.  If we would of had the kids with us, we would have been at that rest stop for at least 25-30 minutes.  There was no fighting, crying, screaming "are we there yet?' or "how much longer?" coming from the backseat.  It was peaceful.  It was all about us.  There wasn't all that extra luggage of kid stuff to carry around.  Snacks or toys in my purse in case of a melt down.  We didn't have to worry about nap times or bedtimes.  We just went where we wanted to go, when we wanted to go and stayed however long we wanted to.  We haven't had the opportunity to do that in a very. long. time!  So we must give thanks, where a thank you is due......THANK YOU Monica and Ernie (aka: mom and dad/grandma and grandpa)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Taking care of our kiddos for two whole days, was much appreciated!  Of course I did miss the rugrats and kept thinking about how much they each would love certain things about our trip, but I knew that they were having so much more fun with their grandma and grandpa and that made it easier.  But I was so happy to see them when we went to pick them up this afternoon and I'm feeling a little more refreshed to take on their never ending shenanigans :)

Pictures from a trip to the pumpkin patch with the grandparents on Saturday :)

 

How old is your kid?

How many times do we see other children out in public and think they look to be about the same age as our own child and we ask the parent, how old is she/he?  Then you find out that they are indeed the same age as your kid and you think to yourself either,"man my kid is way more advanced than that kid."  Or you think,"wow, my kid isn't even close to doing the stuff that kid is doing."  It's hard sometimes being on the second end.  We all strive to be the best of the best and we want that for our kids too.  But the truth is, everyone's best, isn't the same. 

I think it's normal to compare your own kids to each other at certain ages, and to compare your kids to their peers.  With Jayden I never really knew where she stood compared to other kids her own age.  We were never really around a lot of other children so I didn't really know for sure what other kids her age were doing.  Together we worked on typical toddler stuff, ABC's, counting, shapes, colors.....and she picked up on things very quickly, so we just kept going.  She was a very verbal child, and once she said her first word, she was off from that point on.  I never really thought Jayden was some exceptional kid when it came to learning, but things definitely just come to her and she just gets "it."  With Sophia, we don't really hang out with a lot of other children her age either, but I remember what Jayden was doing at Sophia's age, and sometimes I find myself thinking about just how far behind Sophia is than her sister was at that age.  Typically I don't let Sophia's delay's get to me.  She is who she is and eventually she'll get "it" too.  It's just going to take some more time and patience.  I have all the same expectations for Sophia that I have for Jayden, but I also allow Sophia more time to achieve those expectations.  I also try to remember that areas that Sophia shows delays in, she makes up for by excelling in other areas.  No she may not know her ABC's and 123's, but this girl has some social skills that could take down any other 3 year old I've ever known!  I also know that a lot of Sophia's talents are hidden behind a voice that just can't fully express itself  yet.  I can tell that the wheels are turning in that little head of hers, but getting those thoughts out is what is hard right now.  But together we will continue to work on the same things I worked on with Jayden and when she gets it, we'll continue moving on.   

Is it wrong to compare our own kids to each other, or to compare them to their peers?  I don't know? but I think it's something that every one does, at least occasionally.  I don't just compare them in academics, but as a 3 or 6 year old in general.  And I do find myself thinking sometimes that if that 6 year old can do it, why can't Jayden?  Or I beat myself up when I hear of other children with Down syndrome, Sophia's age or younger, doing so much more than her and feeling as if I am failing her by not pushing her harder.  I just need to remember that my kids are who they are, and that is good enough for me.         

Sophia, Jayden and their cousins :)

 

Life after Birth

When you think about a child being born, you think about the fairy tale that happens after giving birth.  The parents crying tears of joy and anxiously awaiting to hold their new bundle of joy in their arms.  You think about how much that new baby will be loved by their parents and the endless hugs and kisses that he or she will receive from that moment on.  You also probably imagine the parents taking their precious baby home with them, to start this new journey of life and give their children endless possiblilites for a successful future......but that isn't always the case.

 Children with Down syndrome and other special needs are often abandoned at birth and hidden away in orphanages and mental institutions abroad. Reece's Rainbow raises money as adoption grants to help families with the high cost of adopting them and giving them the life and future they so richly deserve. The average cost for travel, etc to save one child is approx $25,000. The availability of a sizable adoption grant literally means the difference between life and death for every child. The grants offered through Reece's Rainbow are available to any family, regardless of faith,who qualifies to adopt internationally (as set by US and foreign requirements).  In only 6 years, Reece's Rainbow have found forever families for more than 800+ orphans, all with Down syndrome and other special needs.  They have disbursed more than $4 million in grant funding to save them.  Reece's Rainbow strongly believes that if every waiting child had a full grant, there would BE no waiting children!  To find out more about Reece's Rainbow, click HERE!

So what can we do to help these children find life after birth?  Of course adopting a child is huge, but not everyone is willing, or able, to adopt a child.  But you can also give money, of your own or by collecting donations, to put into a waiting child's fund, in hopes of helping another family financially who is willing and able to bring one of these precious children home.  You can also help spread the word about Reece's Rainbow and a specific child on their website who is waiting for their forever family, in hopes that maybe someone you know, who knows someone else, who knows someone who is wanting to adopt will see it and find their forever child!  And most importantly you can pray for these children.  Pray that each and every one of them find loving homes to go home to, before it's too late. 

**Taken from the Reece's Rainbow website:
Reece’s Rainbow is in the running to win a $50,000 grant from Cultivate Wines. IF we should win, (10) waiting orphans with Down syndrome in (10) different countries will each receive a $5000 grant towards the cost of their adoption. (list of children will be revealed at the end!) Money is the ONLY thing standing in the way for these children to be FOUND and to come home to loving “forever families”.  Restrictions: this contest is open only to voters over the age of 21, and you must have a Facebook account to vote. (contest rules)  The voting period is from September 19-October 31. We need EACH OF YOU to vote ONCE A DAY!  Clicke HERE to go VOTE!!!

How could anyone not want someone like this???  She is amazing and I wish that everyone could see her for what she truly is: perfectly made.

   

Down's Kid

Let me just get this out of the way by saying, Sophia is not a Down's kid.  She is a kid who has Down syndrome.  People with Down syndrome should always be referred to as people first.  Sophia is Sophia first and foremost.  Yes, Sophia has Down syndrome too, but it doesn't define who she is as a person, it's just a part of who she is, just like her blue eyes and her blond hair.

Down syndrome is a condition or a syndrome, not a disease.  There is no cure for Down syndrome.  You can't catch Down syndrome for someone else.  You don't get Down syndrome because of something that your parents did at conception or during pregnancy.  People with Down syndrome do not "suffer" from it and are not "afflicted" by it.  They just simply "have it." 

The word Down syndrome comes from the English physician John Langdon Down, who characterized the condition, but did not have it.  While Down syndrome is listed in many dictionaries with both spellings, Down's and Down, the preferred usage in the United States is Down syndrome.  This is because an "apostrophe s" connotes ownership or possession and Mr. Down did not possess this conditon himself.

Just because you know a child with Down syndrome, doesn't mean that you know everything about every other child that has Down syndrome.  All individuals with Down syndrome are different from one another, just like all children with brown hair are different from one another.  Children with Down syndrome have wide ranges of abilities and shouldn't be grouped into one lump sum of individuals.  Children with Down syndrome are all unique individuals, with different strengths and weaknesses. 

Children with Down syndrome really are more ALIKE than different!    

 

Wordless Wednesday....SISTERS