Monday, December 17, 2012
Emotions running high today.
I'm not really sure where I want to go with this post, or even where to start. I didn't hear about Friday's shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary until early that afternoon, when I was sitting waiting on Jayden's Holiday Sing Along to start. It wasn't until later when I got home and started reading about what happened that my heart ached for those children and their families, for the school and that community. How does this happen? What kind of sick monster does something like this to innocent CHILDREN! I don't know? I have no answers myself, but have read over and over again these past few days about gun control and mental illness and more security at schools, but what is the answer to ending such evil in our society? I have no idea.
This morning I got my girls ready for school, like normal, and was feeling ok. I got Sophia on the bus and then got in the car to take Jayden to school and that's when it hit me. As I pulled up to the school and into the circle drive, my emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm about to let my oldest baby out of my sight and send her into what is supposed to be a safe place, but from what we heard on Friday, it isn't. I saw the kids running inside and walking down the hall in bunches that had just gotten off the bus. I looked over at Jayden axiously waiting for me to stop so she could jump out of the car and go see her classmates and friends and her teacher, completely oblivious to the events that happened to kids her age just a few days prior. She was happy and excited about another day at school and all I could do was hold the tears back long enough to give her one last hug and kiss goodbye for the day. The thought of sending my babies off to school for a few hours and then never being able to hold them again, makes me want to die inside. My deepest condolences and prayers go out to each of the victim's families. I can only imagine the heartbreak that is going on in that community today.
Out of everything that I've read these past three days, one thing I know for sure is that God is with my babies each and every second of each and every day. Just because my children don't learn about religion or say prayers at school, the God that I believe in, would never abandon them in their time of need. God is with my children every where they go. That's what I believe. I have to believe that, because if I didn't, then I would never feel safe leaving my children's side for a moment. All I know for sure today, is that getting Sophia off the bus and picking Jayden up from school today, can not get here fast enough. I am feeling things today that I really didn't expect to feel, but my emotions are definitely running high today.