The Drop Off

Today was Jayden's first day of summer school before she enters kindergarten in a few weeks.  We pulled into the parking lot and Sophia and I walked Jayden into school.  She was so nervous, it was practically written all over her face, and she said her tummy hurt once or twice.  We walked into the cafeteria where we immediately spotted one of her best friends already sitting at a table, so we joined her while we waited for instructions on what to do next.  But Jayden was so nervous she couldn't even sit down.  Finally they began calling the names of some kindergarten students to come up and form a line so that they could be taken back to their classrooms, and I could tell a little more panic had crept into Jayden, because now she was going to have to part away from me to join the other kids up front, all alone.  I could see the tears starting to form in her eyes and I had to fight back my own tears because it made me so sad to see her so un-nerved.  Then they called her name and up she went, all by herself, because she's so brave :)  I stayed and watched them leave the cafeteria, then walked out into the hall to give her a last thumbs up before she disappeared down the hall and it was over, she was gone.  Of course I went back to the car with Sophia, and her first day of preschool was all I could think about and the tears just started flowing.  It's not even her first real day of elementary school yet and I'm already bawling my eyes out before I even get buckled in my car!  I worried about her all morning, hoping that things were going fabulous and she would get back into the car at noon and tell me all the awesome things she did and how she couldn't wait to go back tomorrow.......and that's exactly what she did :)  I have no idea how I'm going to let BOTH my babies go come August 14th.  Jayden has been my life for almost 6 years and now we'll be apart for close to 7 hours out of the day, that's a lot people!  I know that she is going to LOVE school, and I also know that this time apart might just be what the two of us need, but it's still going to hurt something awful at first. 

It's moments like today, where I see Jayden completely out of her comfort space and very vulnerable and scared that I realize just how completely amazing she is.  She always steps up when she needs to.  She faces her fears because she has to.  And watching her grow more independent with each new journey in life, just makes me realize that she can do anything. That girl of mine, ROCKS!